Ode to the Graduate School Experience

Leaving campus today after my last class on my last day of graduate school, I was unprepared. As I walked on the old, brick sidewalks along South Columbia toward Franklin Street, I took in a deep breath, enjoying the Carolina moment. The flowers were still in bloom, the sun was shining, students were bustling to and fro like any mid-day hour on campus and the residents in the houses in frat court were gearing up for pre-exam parties. I walked down that street smiling, enjoying the quintessential late-April, Chapel Hill day. I got to my car and pulled out on Rosemary Street to head back to the office and then “it” hit me. And I uncontrollably sobbed. I had no Kleenex so I am sure the people at the stop light next to me thought I was one hot mess.

On my first day of graduate school I felt like an imposter. Surely, they made a mistake and I was not meant to receive an acceptance letter to this program, this esteemed School of Global Public Health. What was I doing here? Among me were medical professionals and people with smart sounding accents. There were women, who when they talked, really brilliant things came out of their mouths. There was a pharmacist from Nigeria for goodness sakes. Would they notice little me and could I possibly fly under the radar?

It took no time for the imposter syndrome to dissipate. I had too much to do to worry about anyone’s radar.

There were journal articles to read, papers to write, confidence intervals to calculate, fertility rates to ponder….

There was so much to Google Scholar and look up in PubMed….

There were class debates on VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean)…oh and new acronyms to learn…

There were presentations and posters to present….

There were new topics to explore and old ones in which to apply innovative approaches…

So much happened in the blink of an eye. And if I am honest, I will tell you that I have loved every minute of it (except Epi, sorry Vic).

This journey has been a dream that I am afraid to wake from. I have learned so much about maternal and child health and public health. I have found confidence inside of me that I didn’t know existed. Never did I imagine I had so much inner-strength and ability to focus. Me, the imposter, mastering public health, albeit on less sleep than a new mother. This school, this city, this university – it was home and I felt such comfort in spreading my wings.

And, the indisputable best part of the journey? The MCH girls.

I recently read a poignant quote: “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.” I tear up reading that quote and thinking about my MCH girls. Without a doubt, I have encountered some of the most deep, meaningful friendships that will last throughout the rest of my life. My MCH girls make me a better public health professional and bring out the best in my character. This world is a far better place because in it we have these intelligent, motivated and inspirational women. I am truly blessed that our lives intersected at this time in my life and in this beautiful place. I did not know a piece of my heart was missing until you all embraced me and filled my soul with such support and love.

Chapel Hill, Carolina, the SPH, my MCH girls – you have taken care of me the past two years and given me the beautiful gift of a graduate school experience. I am so grateful. For the next week I will need to carry tissues in my purse so I am better prepared for the days leading to graduation.

Mon coeur est plein d’amour aujourd’hui. Je suis béni.